Maybe again sometime?!

Pinery Provincial Park is our #1 so far!!! Check out this gorgeous sunset 🌅 on June 23, 2017 at Lake Huron:


We arrived early to built the tent and we went for a walk on the beach. It was foggy at first, then the sky cleared up right on time for the sunset! It was an amazing time!

Hints: you gotta book at Burley Campground and close to the beach! Our campsite was 1025 and was right across the washroom 😕 it was a bit loud sometimes, but we still managed to sleep fine at 3am after a few drinks! 🍹

We woke up at noon and we went to Grand Bend Beach to chill until the rain started. This town  is really cute and I would love to come back here soon!

We came back to our campground and Eduardo used our inflatable boat 🚣🏼 to explore nature even further during the rain!

Sunday morning we packed up and we drove back to Toronto at 11am.

Beach, please! 

IMG_2397“Beach” season is upon us! 🌊 30°C all weekend on June 9, 10, and 11, 2017!

Long Point Provincial Park is perfect! We’ve voted it as the one of the best campgrounds if it wasn’t for the bugs 😀

We stayed at the old park campground 🏕 and it was right by the lake. It’s also a 2 hour drive! The only problem is that our campsite 248 is only sand and not much shade either. 🏖

It was a fun experience and the tent wasn’t full of sand as I pictured it before. So camping on the beach is manageable!

We arrived early on Friday and we took our time to build both tents ⛺️ and the campfire. 🔥

We were lucky enough to have the opportunity to see this gorgeous full moon illuminating the night sky right on top of Erie’s Lake during both nights with a clear sky! 🌌 🌙

IMG_2382IMG_2480.JPGIMG_2332IMG_2414IMG_2450We realized that our electric air pump didn’t get charged during the entire week (we plugged the wrong cable on) so we had to fill the air mattress with the manual pump. It wasn’t a big deal, but we weren’t expecting this “fun” surprise right before we went to bed.

So since I wasn’t sleepy anymore we put more firewood and we only went to bed when it started to rain. ☔️

We didn’t put out the fire and the flames were so bright that I woke up scared thinking that our tent had caught on fire!

The next morning we woke up early at 8am and we had breakfast. We went for an hour walk and I did my 10,000 steps goal of the day!

We bought more firewood and ice. We visited the beach of the new park and I am glad we’ve booked at the old park! There’s more sand on our side of the park.

We jumped into the lake after a bit of sunbathing! ☀️ Eduardo also dug a hole in the sand and we all got a bit of sunburn because it was windy and we didn’t feel it burning that much!

We came back from the beach and we ate our Canadian BBQ aka. burgers 🍔 while looking at the campfire.

We went to bed not too late because we were tired. We woke up early 8am. We ate breakfast and we took the tents down and we left at 9:30 am.

There was a lot of bugs flying around us and some even got into the car. 🚗 My mom and I ended up with a few bits all over, just Eduardo got lucky 🍀 and had zero bits. 😑

On the way back we’ve met my friend Dipika at the Lion African Safari at 11am. It was her birthday 🎉 so we celebrated with her brother and boyfriend at the safari!

We had fun and we went for lunch and dinner together! 🍾🥂🍴

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Another day, another dollar 💵 💸💰

Hey you,

This weekend we stayed at Sandbanks at Prince Edward Island County. It’s 2 hours drive from Toronto.

My favourite part of this Provincial Park is the tall dunes close to the lakeshore.

It’s fun to run down the dunes and swim away! 🏊🏼‍♀️⬅️🏃🏽‍♀️⬅️🏝

Luckily, the first time I visited Sandbanks was back in August 2016 and we had a great time hiking and swimming!

Unfortunately, the water was too cold this time because we came over too early in the year and we didn’t have a chance to get into the lake.

The dune trails are currently flooded and closed due to Lake Ontario’s high water level. 🌊🏖😵

We left late on Friday because I was working until 6pm. So we hit the road at 7:40pm and we made it to the campground at 9:45 (15 minutes before it closes again!)

We slept under the trees by the sound of the breaking waves of the lake nearby! We woke up with the sun and the birds singing.

Temperature was 8 Celsius at night and 18 during the day. We used a record number of 7 bags of firewood 🔥 for the entire weekend.

My coworkers asked me how much this costs per night, so here it goes:

The campground ⛺️ reservation and the firewood is $75 per night.

Plus one time expense of $400 bucks for all camping gear:

  • 3 pl. Camping tent (to fit bags inside beside the bed)
  • Air bed queen size
  • 2 sleeping bags
  • Cooler
  • Beach chairs and umbrella
  • Stove and gas

Extra costs:

  • Food
  • Fire starters
  • Park store (extra expenses including ice and/or lighter if you run out)

And obviously, a locker for gear storage: 😘

There’s still room for improvements 

Life is a moment. 🐚🦋🐌🌎

Our weekend at Rock Point Provincial Park was amazing!

On the way there we were greeted by 3 or 4 deers close to the roads! They were on the corner right before the park entrance. One of them jumped right in front of our car 🚗 thankfully I was able to break it on time! 🦌🦌🦌☠️ jk

We left late and we were afraid we might not arrive on time again. It turns out we arrived 15 minutes before it closed. So we were able to buy the firewood for the night 😀 This is something we should know better by now! We will improve it next weekend.

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I’m so glad that we brought way less things than last weekend, because now it’s just the 2 of us for a couple of nights. 😀

They also changed our site before hand because the #21 that I booked was too wet this weekend. We ended up with #7, also at the Lookout Campground. The site is very spacious, with 2 picnic tables and a beautiful huge tree that protects the tent. Water tap and washrooms nearby.

We built the tent right in the centre of the campsite ⛺️ and we started the campfire 🔥 right away. I was putting more firewood with my left hand too close to the flames and this happened: (I didn’t get burn, it’s just dirty.)

On Saturday morning we had breakfast with a campfire again 🙂 and this is Eduardo drying out his socks!

In the afternoon we enjoyed a nice warm 18 degrees blue sky sunny day at Lake Erie’s beach ⛱🌊 the name sadu
  we had a huge ice cream of Canadian Maple and Moses Tracks 🍦 😬 our favorite!

Sunday was a beautiful sunny morning with lots of birds singing. I built another campfire to finish the rest of the wood while I was packing up the car and we left around 11am.

I didn’t take as many pictures of this trip because I didn’t charge ANY of the batteries at home. 🏡 😑

On the drive back we saw the 3 deers again. They said bye without  crossing the road in front of us this time 😀

To do list for future trips:

  1. CHARGE ALL CAMERAS! 🎥 📷
  2. Organize camping/cooking stuff and label if possible for easy access.
  3. Pack the car the day before.
  4. Leave on time, to guarantee firewood for the night.
  5. Make sure campsite is not wet.
  6. Get a tool to put firewood in the pit.
  7. Get sticks and marshmallows 🤐

Quarter century old – what’s to be done ✅ 

Hey you,

My 25th birthday has recently passed and I celebrated it over this Victoria Day long weekend in Tobermory (yeah, again!) with Eduardo, Mahi and Asish.

I also celebrated my 7 year anniversary with Eduardo on May 20th!

The camping season this year has officially started and we had an amazing time in the best national park in Ontario: Bruce Peninsula!

We saw this beautiful sunset 🌅  during our 3.5 hour drive from Toronto.

We were driving a bit worried and unsure if we would make it on time. Turns out we arrived at the registration centre 5 minutes before it closed and we didn’t have to look for a place to stay for the night, but people still arrived in the campsite on our right side and they built their tents after we were already in bed. I guess we would have done the same thing, but we don’t like taking any chances.

Friday night was great! We built the tents ⛺️ and we had a nice fire 🔥 over wine and champagne! Even though they have an Alcohol Ban for the long weekend. 🤐

At 4am in the night, we received a visit of a wild animal 🐻 that destroyed our garbage bag with its big claws. I forgot a piece of potato 🥔 in there. 😵 We fell asleep right after that. 😴

Saturday, we enjoyed a beautiful sunny day at the Indian Head cove and the Grotto cave! Unfortunately, our guests had to drive back to Toronto right after we got back to the campground because they had family arriving today from India.

To be honest, after doing my 11K steps by trekking all day under the sun (15 Celsius! 😜) ☀️ we decided to have a lazy rainy day on Sunday. ☔️ We stayed warm in the tent. (Lowest of 5, feels like 3 at night)

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(that’s Eduardo wrapped up) 🌯🍣 more photos of the trip here.

I love campsite #206! We had a good area for both tents, both cars and 2 tables. We were cozy close to the fire 🔥 but me and Dipika got sick that night 😷 she even had a sick day off on Thursday. I kept working because I basically just had a bit of running nose and dry cough.

On Monday we packed up and we left at 10am for a breakfast of champions. 🍳🥓 This was an amazing long weekend!!!

That’s what I want to do for life: travel to new places and hike among nature in good company!

The future is in your hands. Don’t let it go to waste. You will never be as young as you are on this day. Tomorrow you will be older. “Today is the oldest you’ve ever been, and the youngest you’ll ever be.” – Eleanor Roosevelt. That’s another good reason to “seize the day or die regretting the time you lost” as Avenged Sevenfold’s song says.

The main secret of a long and good life is daily exercises and healthy food.

img_7265In a life well lived, every second that passes is a longing. (from Portuguese: “Numa vida bem vivida, cada segundo que passa é uma saudade que fica.”) It means, a life well lived is when you have a good memory of each single second. “Saudade” is the love that remains 😊

These are things that my parents always kept telling me but… you know for fact that PEOPLE ONLY HEAR WHAT THEY WANT TO HEAR and THEY CAN’T TAKE BACK WHAT THEY SAY. It means I will always remember what they kept telling me but I just didn’t want to hear at that time👂🏼 🙃 so this is what I know now as a mature young adult that I wish I knew as teen:

1- This small world is calling us! This is the best time to be alive! We can easily find affordable travel options and unlimited amazing pictures!

2- Enjoy every moment of your day, every meal, every conversation and every sunshine ☀️ because that moment is unique in your life. You will never be that age again and people come and go. So make every year a chapter of your life and fill in the blank!

3- Don’t stress out and use the 90/10 principle. Because you migh have to start over a few times. Specially if you are like most people that end up in a different town/country.

4- Don’t worry about make up 💄👁 👁 I’m so glad I got rid of my eyeliner addiction. I would simply wear it all the time as a teen and I would feel weird if I didn’t put it on.

5- Don’t worry about work out 🏋 most people have good genes and they are fine with regular daily activity until the age of 25! However, I don’t look my age anyways… I easily look 10 years younger 😐 the only difference is that now it takes me some effort to stay in shape.

6- Family is above all and we all know that friends are the family you choose! This future tattoo is in their honor and it’s a symbol of Stability and Loyalty.

Paramore: Hallelujah

Got nothing but time on our hands
This time we’re not giving up
Oh, let’s make it last forever

Asaf Avidan – Reckoning Song (One Day)

One day baby, we’ll be old
Oh baby, we’ll be old
Think of all the stories that we could have told

Avicii – The Days

These are the days we’ve been waiting for
On days like these who could ask for more?
Leave them coming ’cause we’re not done yet
These are the days we won’t regret
These are the days we will never forget!

Avicii – The Nights

Hey, once upon a younger year
When all our shadows disappeared
The animals inside came out to play
Hey, went face to face with all our fears
Learned our lessons through the tears
Made memories we knew would never fade

One day my father—he told me,
“Son, don’t let it slip away.”
He took me in his arms, I heard him say,

“When you get older
Your wild heart will live for younger days
Think of me if ever you’re afraid.”

He said, “One day you’ll leave this world behind
So live a life you will remember.”
My father told me when I was just a child
These are the nights that never die
My father told me

When thunder clouds start pouring down
Light a fire they can’t put out
Carve your name into those shining stars
He said, “Go venture far beyond these shores.
Don’t forsake this life of yours.
I’ll guide you home no matter where you are.”

“Some people never go crazy. What truly horrible lives they must lead.” Charles Bukowski

Paulo Coelho“Don’t waste your time with explanations: people only hear what they want to hear.”

Recipe for hypo-mania: First, you have to be biologically prone to have one. Second, exhaust your mind by: walking under the sun all day, not sleeping for at least a week, drinking alcohol constantly, and non-stop talking about God, war, and love!

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I’ve got lost in the trip down to memory lane to find myself!

My name is Thaís. It’s pronounced “Ty-ees” and it’s from the ancient Greek name “Thaïs” meaning: Beloved. I’ve ALWAYS lived with passion and for passion. It’s part of my name so is my entire sense of self! I love to listen to music. From indie/alternative to progressive rock/metal. I fully relate to many of the lyrics like Pink Floyd – “Brain Damage” song: “And if the band you’re in starts playing a different tune, I’ll see you on the dark side of the moon.”

I’ve always leaned towards the depressed side because this desire for passion is not always met, so I get lost and frustrated in life. I also often found myself thinking about my past with a lingering sense of failure—the hangover of my time spent living a lie. I’ve finally noticed that fooling myself can have devastating consequences, especially when it comes to school, career, sex life and relationships in general.

I’m pretending to be something that I’m not. I’m tried to transform myself into the person everyone expects me to be. I’m fighting my way to an authentic life. I’m tired to live a lie and I have to stop to live in a way that is dishonest to myself or to other
people. Many people find it difficult to be intimate with anyone when they are not really sure who they are. When you feel like life is fake, it’s pretty hard to be close to somebody. It feels exactly like Foo Fighters – “The Pretender” song: “Keep you in the dark, you know they all pretend.”

I’ve also got a lot of anxiety so I need a very controlled and predictable environment. I always want to receive whatever I’m waiting for as quickly as possible. “Carpe Diem” sounds so good but I know I’m not intensely connected to the present moment. I’m mostly reliving the past or dreaming about the future. “Seize the day” and “live like there’s no tomorrow” makes me anxious because they are just a reminder that tomorrow exists. I have to learn to coexist in this world as if there isn’t cover and inside. Life is made up of pairs of opposites; we need movement and rest. The real challenge is to find the middle way: balance.

VictorIn Portuguese: “Quando a situação for boa, desfrute-a. Quando a situação for ruim, transforme-a. Quando asituação não puder ser transformada, transforme-se.” Viktor Frankl.

Social media helps me not to miss anything that happens in the world outside! I also want to show that I have a “perfect” lifestyle and that I’m doing something, no matter how empty and meaningless that “something” is. For someone my age, perfection is to be someone nice, sociable, who spends 3 hours per day in the gym, works eight hours, does MBA, goes clubbing, and still finds time to watch the most popular series and movies. And to me, a real life is allowing me to moments of silence and solitude in my own company, away from the world.

I recently started to ask myself: What about the ‘world’ from within? When was the last time I stopped to look after myself? Have I ever closed the door to only hear my own voice? Then I realized I know all about what’s happening around me, but nothing of what goes on inside my mind and heart. That’s how I’ve finally noticed that this hurt soul of mine deserves my full attention in order to enjoy life to it’s fullest. I’m usually very apart from others and, recently, I was able to spend a lot of time with myself. I enjoy having my space and I’ve always had an original personality. We all should dedicate some time to our only true partner for life: ourselves.

 

 

img_5952-3Now, I’m trying to be more like Kurt Cobain: “I’d rather be hated for who I am, than loved for who I am not.” You don’t need luck when you don’t give a fuck.

It’s better to be alone than to be with someone who messes you up and doesn’t help you to fix it…

(in Portuguese: Melhor sozinha do que com quem the bagunça e não ajuda a arrumar…)

 

Ayreon – Day Seven: Hope

[Best Friend] Let me take you back
to the time when we were chasing all the girls
Two maniacs
indulging in the pleasures of this world
So much to see, so much to live for
Questions to answer, places to go
So much to be, so much to care for
Deep down inside, I think you know you are free
Come back to me!

Look ahead and see
There are still so many borders we could cross
Just you and me
making up for all the time that we have lost
[Best Friend] So much to see [Me] He may be right
[Best Friend] so much to live for [Me] I’ve got to fight
[Best Friend] Questions to answer [Me] I will pull through
[Best Friend] places to go [Me] Take me with you
[Best Friend] So much to be [Me] I will not break
[Best Friend] so much to care for [Me] I must awake
[Best Friend] Deep down inside I think you know [Me] I think I know
[Best Friend] You are free [Me] I am free
[Best Friend] Come back to me!

[Best Friend] Aaaah, aaaah – Come back to me
[Me] There’s no way out, my whole world is black!
[Best Friend] Aaaah, aaaah – Come back to me
[Me] I try to shout, something’s holding me back!”

 

My husband and I literally drove each other crazy in July 2016 during our first vacation in Europe together. I was hypo-manic for a while and my husband had a similar episode, but more severe than me.

When I come back from vacations in general, it’s if I’ve never really left home because everything else stays the same. But during this last vacation, I did some serious soul searching and it became an unique life experience for both of us. Well, it was really an eye opening trip for sure! Every summer has a story and at least, I can say, I’ve had a short time of happiness in life, rather than no time at all. I’ve realized I have to beimg_6595-3 thankful for such short times because, somehow, they manage to keep me sane and get me through life.

Believe it or not, but this episode we had in Europe is among the best things that have ever happened to us, because it has given us the challenge to heal and grow. It was the most interesting thing to see the Old World with a different perspective. We felt like everything made sense and we were so thankful for all that. To the point we thought we had a mission from God to solve all problems by carrying  the world on our backs. But it was too heavy to handle and our minds broke down in pieces. The funny part is that we are truly grateful for having had these experiences, even though they were absolutely awful in general. They have made us closer to each other and a bigger, more empathetic, stronger and beautiful couple.

“If it’s going to happen, it will happen, but why should I miss the dance? The time is short.”img_5984-3

Don’t ever question yourself “why?”, just turn the word “regret” into “I made the best possible choice I could at that time”. I’ve learned to take responsibility for my life and to follow my dreams. I was in conflict with myself and conflict is essential for evolution/growth. “When you blame others, you give up your power to change.” so never forget: “Freedom is the will to be responsible to ourselves” – Friedrich Nietzsche

I need to free myself because right now I’m a prisoner of my past! How do I get out of it? “How can you tell a passionate heart to be still and to contemplate the miracles of Creation in silence, free of tension, fear, and unanswerable questions?” (Paulo Coelho) I’m stuck but I may have just found a way and, of course, I’ll know if it really works later on in life.

IMG_5501I’m clearly having a quarter life crisis since I’ve finally realized a very obvious thing: we have one life in this planet! It doesn’t make sense to me to not pursue what we really want. I’m now working to get everything together and on track. Unfortunately, I’ve realized that I have a life that I’m not super passionate about and happy with. I’m in an environment that doesn’t support/serve/love me so I shouldn’t have to keep living like this. I’m finally taking initiative and action towards what I really want in life and moving towards what I want to achieve/cultivate/create/happen in order to feel accomplished and fulfilled in life. It’s time to start right now!

I wasn’t stable at all and I had no idea that I also had mental health issues until my co-workers and in-laws brought to my attention after our vacation in Europe. I took a few months off work to recover. I was feeling like a ghost wondering on Earth and not being totally sure of my true identity. I was a spectator of my life by just listening instead of imposing on reality. I now realize that I am an active manifestor and I’m the one who creates my own reality and it’s about time for me to take action!

I am studying my life in detail and reliving each moment that I suffered, sweated, and smiled beneath the sun. Since I moved to Canada, I’ve been taking “Netflix and chill” literally for many years now and here I only work, sleep and repeat. Noting new, nothing fun. My social life is near to zero comparing to the one I had back in Brazil during my teenage years. I feel so lonely here, but before I start, let me brag for a moment: I’ve never had spending impulses like my mother who ended up declaring bankruptcy in my childhood. After growing up with things like that, I made sure I would never be in debt in my life. I’m respected by my colleagues and customers. I have a husband that loves me with all his heart and we have a very comfortable lifestyle in a first world country. Our 5 year goal is to start raising our 3 beautiful children. “Someday, all the love you’ve given away, will find its way back to you and stay.” All I want is a man that is down for me and only me, and I think I may have found him. He has always been by my side since the day I was born. His name is Eduardo, my beloved husband. For the past 7 years my husband is the only thing that really matter in my life. I opened up my true self to him and he loves me for who I really am. I need him in my life to keep going and feel loved.IMG_5392

Lucky me to have you in my life.

I found my other half and I lost my entire self.

During our Europe vacation we both realized that we shared the exact same feeling: “I loved someone else more than myself.” That was the beginning of our hypo-mania and I was the first one to have grandiosity thoughts and become religious. This whole experience turned two Agnostics into full Roman Catholics: “We are all living in the gutter, but some of us are looking at the stars.”(Oscar Wilde)

We were both battling depression for years and he was way more depressed and more manic than me. I only noticed that he got really sick when it hit me that I couldn’t helpIMG_5350 him by myself with ineffective over the counter sleeping pills. I felt guilty… he was the reason I was still breathing and now his brilliant mind was gone because of me. On the way to the Emergency Hospital nearby, he texted his parents that I drove him crazy and it kills me just to think that I could have been responsible for that. It was when I realized how much I’ve hurt him with all my sick mind/emotional games over these 7 years together. He is just as insecure as I am. Most of the silly fights we have are just because we were afraid of losing the other. I lost my whole sense of self since his first night in the man’s ward in Prague. A week later we went back to Toronto and his family all turned their back at me because I was clubbing every night in Prague and they felt that I didn’t care enough for Eduardo.

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I definitely feel like an outsider around his family. Eduardo is my safe port whenever I’m at their house. Eduardo is afraid of confronting his parents and end up with a bad relationship with them. Just recently, I’ve realized that this is Eduardo’s problem and not mine. So I’m simply giving them space to figure this one out and in the meanwhile I will be distancing myself from his family.

I’m doing some serious self-discovery during my mental health treatment. Eduardo and I are still between depression and hypo-mania. I know I have a clear conscious that I did the best I could. Even though his parents said they will never forgive me for what I’ve done in Prague and how I’ve treated their son. They blame me for his sickness, but Eduardo is responsible for his actions. I was devastated in Prague and I needed to feel alive again, so I went clubbing and sleeping until noon. I guess they forgot that I visited Eduardo every afternoon. I still enjoyed my hard earned vacation at some point at night.

I was back at work (and boring day-to-day life) since our first day back in Toronto and I worked until my managers suggested I take a sick short-term leave after exact a month.

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I didn’t feel respected by his family and they made sure to remind me that I did’t have any saying inside their house and that I lost all their respect/credits. Fine, it’s good to know! I don’t get it how people can be this complete insensible with another human being feelings! So there’s no point of me spending even one more word/tear/energy towards this. I realized how “needy” I was when all I wanted was them to stop being so rude to me and maybe even love me. I feel just like The Offspring clearly said on Self-Esteem song: “The more you suffer, the more it shows you really care.”

“Don’t waste your time where there isn’t any space for you.” – Mathew Jacobs

I’m sorry I can’t please you. Fake sympathy is not my strong suite.

There’s nothing for me here.

I see all this as another challenge in my life to learn more about self-love. I’m determined to finally learn more about my personality and who I am.

My only hope now is to keep looking for one of those once in a lifetime moments. Yeah, and my life is full of those.

Take a ticket, take a ride. Hold on tight. Take the ride of your life. Against the current.

So far, so good. Everything is perfect.

IMG_5398Coragem

Time to drop some truths: Quarter-Life Crisis/Searching For Self Love

“I have a story to tell, I think we all do, and we have to find our own way to tell it. That’s our reason, to live our individual lives, in whatever roles we play, and sharing your story, your point of view, is your reason to live. So someone else might benefit from it. Your reason to live is to live, really, you have a life and the only thing to do with it is live it. I don’t think there has to be a purpose.” –Dot525

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This is me: I’m here as a Travel/Lifestyle Photographer/Writer (as a hobby, for now):

It’s been almost a year that I’ve started this self discovery journey to know more about my self in order to figure out what to do with my life.

I’ve been searching my past and my soul. I’m working on my book called “In My Life” and each year is a chapter. Recently, I’ve been reading and thinking more about my life purpose/meaning.

“Was the person happy while he/she lived?” That is a proper question, the only question. Happiness is the meaning of my life. I want to be happy and I’m tired of sorrow. So the real question that I should be asking myself is: “What makes me happy?”

I’m a Taurus, so I’ve always called myself “May Queen” and now I’m looking for my own kingdom! I really enjoy being alone and writing all these crazy thoughts down. I also enjoy photography while listening to music and travelling to exotic places. That’s my passion and that’s the meaning of my life: I’m here to experience new things and see this beautiful world that we are part of. I like to register every special moment by taking pictures and writing about them, so hopefully others will be inspired to explore it as well.

I have a very bad memory and I really like the fact that I can simply look at my collection of artwork in order to immediately go back in time and “relive” those unique moments. Be them good or bad, because life still beats the alternative.

We should all look at the big picture and see the great things life has to offer: nature, human connections, animals, love, passion and happiness… I think just listening to the wind blows is worth to have live.

I also feel that the relationship with my husband constitute the very meaning of my life, because our goal as a family is to create and nurture new life for this beautiful earth. Our love is what I live for. He is my best friend that knows me well and loves me back for exactly who I am! “Friends are the family you choose (~ Nin/Ithilnin, Elven rogue).”
― Jess C. ScottThe Other Side of Life

Charles Bukowski quotes:

I am my own god. We are here to unlearn the teachings of the church, state, and our educational system. We are here to drink beer. We are here to kill war. We are here to laugh at the odds and live our lives so well that Death will tremble to take us.”

“I’ve never been lonely. I’ve been in a room — I’ve felt suicidal. I’ve been depressed. I’ve felt awful — awful beyond all — but I never felt that one other person could enter that room and cure what was bothering me…or that any number of people could enter that room. In other words, loneliness is something I’ve never been bothered with because I’ve always had this terrible itch for solitude. It’s being at a party, or at a stadium full of people cheering for something, that I might feel loneliness. I’ll quote Ibsen, “The strongest men are the most alone.” I’ve never thought, “Well, some beautiful blonde will come in here and give me a fuck-job, rub my balls, and I’ll feel good.” No, that won’t help. You know the typical crowd, “Wow, it’s Friday night, what are you going to do? Just sit there?” Well, yeah. Because there’s nothing out there. It’s stupidity. Stupid people mingling with stupid people. Let them stupidify themselves. I’ve never been bothered with the need to rush out into the night. I hid in bars, because I didn’t want to hide in factories. That’s all. Sorry for all the millions, but I’ve never been lonely. I like myself. I’m the best form of entertainment I have. Let’s drink more wine!”

“My ambition is handicapped by laziness”

“You have to die a few times before you can really live.”

“If you’re losing your soul and you know it, then you’ve still got a soul left to lose.”

“Sometimes you climb out of bed in the morning and you think, I’m not going to make it, but you laugh inside — remembering all the times you’ve felt that way.”

“Some lose all mind and become soul, insane.
some lose all soul and become mind, intellectual.
some lose both and become accepted

As you can see, I desperately need help. We are now 25 years old and we are both going through a Quarter Life Crisis. All I want to do is travel but I am currently working 9-5 job that pays the bills. My plan is to keep working at this place until my Canadian passport arrives, so I can finally start my Sabbatical and follow my dream!

Once I come back from this adventure, I want to choose a city where I plan to raise my 3 kids (hopefully 2 boys 1 girl, we’ll see). I might come back to Toronto because all my husband’s family moved here and my mom wants to immigrate to Canada next year!

Unfortunately, right now, I feel trapped in a meaningless void until this passport arrives in a few years, so I have to learn how to live my day-to-day life by being responsible and getting work done when all I want to do is lay down on the beach all day! I’m 99.7% sure a road trip would fix everything =)

Shocking Statistics About Real Millennial Problems:We’re all struggling, yet we’re all struggling to make it appear like we’re not struggling!” That’s so true!!! People have no idea of what it feels like to be lost and I definitely try to hide those feelings from them.

Even though I’m married, working full-time, with a college diploma, living in a first world country, in a comfortable condo there’s still a deep void inside, a feeling of emptiness that nothing seems to fill.

I feel everything is debilitating and it takes a lot of effort to get things done. It’s end of April and I haven’t even started to think about doing my taxes yet! O_O’ Same thing happens when I’m buying groceries, doing dishes, cooking dinner, going to work, calling my family back, calling my friends back or picking up the phone at all. I look at animals and I think: “God, I wish I had your life.” Am I ever going to feel like myself again? 

I keep asking myself every morning “How can I be kind to myself today?” and I thank myself in the evening for having been there for me.

Try it out yourself and do it day by day. Over time I’ve notice how my care and my self love has started filling this inner void. The tricky part is: How are you supposed to do anything when you have lost your very reason to live? Don’t let people think you are dead…prove them wrong!

Start by letting some fresh air in your home. Go outside for a run. Start yoga daily. Read some good books. Volunteer at Humane Society or any retirement home. If you have no idea what you’re doing in your life, just pick something that you know can’t be bad and just run with it. Sometimes the best answers come when we stop sitting around obsessing over finding them.

You just need to experience life to its fullest in the here-and-now! So remember, the answer is: live in the needs of the day. Hint: meditation really helps!

I wish you all good health and the best of everything else!! Carpe Diem \o/

Photography 101

Check out my progress at my Flickr page!

Foto

Best Exposure Practice Link for Understanding Metering and Effects: http://www.canonoutsideofauto.ca/play/

Modes of Operation:

https://photographylife.com/understanding-digital-camera-modes/

Metering mode cheat sheet: how they work and when to use them

How to Use a Gray Card to Get More Accurate Exposures and Color

How to Read and Use Histograms

How to Use Exposure Compensation to Take Control of Your Exposure

 

Colour Temperature: Understanding White Balance In Photography | Apogee Photo Magazine

Basic Instructional:  www.shortcourses.comwww.digital-photography-school.com, www.davidduchemin.com

Advanced Instructional:  www.luminous-landscape.com, KelbyTV.com, www.creativelive.com/

For Camera Reviews:  www.dpreview.com, www.steves-digicams.comwww.imaging-resource.com

Forums/Communities/Publishing:  www.photo.net, www.flickr.com, blurb.ca
Software:  www.adobe.com (Photoshop and Lightroom are Adobe Products), www.camerabits.com (Photo Mechanic for Editing), www.gimp.org (Freeware Version of Photoshop)

Reference Books:
Painting with a Lens: The Digital Photographer’s Guide to Designing Artistic Images In-Camera by Rod and Robin Deutschmann

Freeman Patterson’s Photography and the Art of Seeing: A Visual Perception Workshop for Film and Digital Photography

Jim Miotke’s Better Photo Basics (The Absolute Beginner’s Guide to Taking Photos Like the Pros)

Books, Magazines and Tutorials by Scott Kelby: The Digital Photography Book, Photoshop User Magazine, Layers Magazine, and Kelby One

Photography Stores: Aden, Cowboy Studios, Downtown Camera, Henrys, Vistek

Electronics Stores: Best Buy, Canada Computers

Equipment Rentals: Vistek, Film Plus, Henry’s Downtown

Photography Galleries: AGO, Bau-Xi, Gallery 44, Corkin Gallery, Pikto, Gallery TPW, Stephen Bulger Gallery

 

 

Exercise: At least 1 photo a day (of the same thing, if you want to really challenge yourself)

I’ve chosen the CN Tower:

 

img_5050_33999773376_o.jpgCanada 005IMG_0425IMG_0426IMG_0668IMG_0669IMG_0454IMG_0457IMG_0462IMG_0463IMG_0679IMG_0684IMG_0695IMG_0762IMG_0764

 

Design Your Dream: Type of life I want to live

100 everything is possible to accomplish list:

Health / Mind & Body / Fitness Goals

  1. First, meditate at least 15min. daily! “Nothing is worth more than this day.” – Goethe
  2. Continue finding healthy ways to mitigate the stress of this life.
  3. Drink more wine, more tea, and never coffee
  4. Yoga and Tai Chi everyday with regularity and consistency
  5. Find a secret place in the world where I can escape and sabbatical (and tell no one)
  6. Single digit body fat as 9%
  7. Attain visible six-pack
  8. 100 days of consecutive running
  9. Become an Australian or USA resident, citizen
  10. Train and run a marathon
  11. Start journaling regularly
  12. No Alcoholic Spirits for a year
  13. Vegetarian for a year
  14. 7-day detox fasting
  15. 20 days of Juicing
  16. Change someone’s life
  17. Get et a mini goldendoodle puppy and love it to death, after she’s lived a long and happy life
  18. Spend a week in solitude a year: without any contact with any other human beings just pet
  19. Forgive someone and heal your emotional wounds
  20. Say no to more of the things that I only feel obligated to do, to make more time for the things that actually matter.

Knowledge / Creativity / Writing Goals

  1. Read 1-2 books a week
  2. Get my masters degree and graduate internationally
  3. Attend a culinary school academy type thing
  4. Start a book club
  5. Speak fluent English
  6. Speak Conversational Spanish
  7. Learn French and Italian
  8. Interview 100 inspirational people

Social Contribution / Community / Family Goals / Spiritual Goals

  1. Start a school that teaches kids how to live a successful life, teaches people skills, and teaches them to think for themselves; instead of to not take chances, and only how to be an employee of someone else’s successful life. Don’t be a sheep!
  2. Cook for friends on a regular basis
  3. Brew my own beer and have a big party each batch
  4. Host a neighbourhood pool bbq party yearly and monthly feed the homeless and hungry
  5. Foster children
  6. Keep bees in my backyard
  7. Care for chickens in my backyard
  8. Grow a community garden to grow grapes and plant other fruit trees
  9. Preserve enough food in the summer to supply half of our food for the winter months.
  10. Actually live in Hawaii for at least a little bit, if nothing else but to confirm my theory that I’d get island fever despite all the wonderfulness
  11. Develop a family of friends with Thaiara and Dipika by building a sense of community with a group of close friends and do life with them by sharing a house/commune
  12. 52 wks of socializing – Meet friends every weekend for a night out
  13. 30-days of expressing gratitude to friends and family
  14. Fund a scholarship for students “who wouldn’t consider higher education an option”
  15. Have a regular dinner club with friends
  16. Have a mentor disciple and pour into me
  17. Keep fresh cut flowers on my table
  18. Help my children develop their God given talents to see how they can impact their world.
  19. Foster an environment where my children always want to come home and invite others.
  20. Cultivate a relationship with my children, in which they always feel comfortable talking to me about anything.  Nothing off limits.
  21. Read aloud with my children and grandkids until the day I die
  22. Take regular family walks
  23. Take regular bike rides
  24. Dance regularly
  25. Dream house: Live in a vacation lake/beach home to host big family gatherings. Own 5-10 acres of land in an island (Maui, Hawaii) like a cottage out in the woods. Have a zip line or Tarzan rope over the water. Have a gorgeous homey kitchen that begs to be cooked in. Create a beautiful outdoor space (fire pit, patio, swing, eating area, archery range, Air Hockey table). It doesn’t have to be expensive, just lovely and fun for the entire family!

Financial Goals / Business / Career Goals

  1. Earn enough money to pay all my bills doing Good
  2. Create and curate an activist/artist retreat collaborative camp thing
  3. Self-publish your novel, photo book, recipe book or life story and make a living from my writing: Shift my income to be primarily from writing (not speaking/performing) by publishing an average of one new book every year after 2016 about freedom and leadership principles, with some economics of course.
  4. Write and illustrate a children’s book
  5. Write a column for The New Yorker or a magazine
  6. Serve on the Board of some cool national organization I love
  7. Generate monthly recurring passive income: Generate $1,000 a month from online
  8. Stay 100% debt-free – Zero personal debt for life
  9. Become location independent
  10. Become financially independent – financially free: enough passive income to cover my lifestyle expenses
  11. $200,000+ in Savings
  12. Build a 6-figure business
  13. Get an internship
  14. Start a business – build a successful blog and publish monthly polemic essays
  15. Craft and start an etsy store
  16. Create an Online Course
  17. Teach at a university
  18. Publish a short eBook guide
  19. Public speaking internationally about creating change and courage
  20. Get the perfect part-time job to finance other dreams or start a business that helps strengthen impoverished communities either here or abroad

Travel Goals

  1. Go camping for a month with friends… will require having no job first I think
  2. Go on a cruise across the Mediterranean including island-hop in Greece
  3. Rent a castle with a bunch of friends and hang out for the weekend
  4. Live abroad for at least six months
  5. Spend a month touring performing/speaking every day
  6. Spend a month following the 253 vows of the Vinaya
  7. Yearly family visits
  8. World travel with friends
  9. World travel with parents
  10. World travel with my brothers (Greece, Denmark, Norway)
  11. Take a family vacation yearly.
  12. Take a girl’s trip yearly.
  13. Host a fabulous dinner party
  14. Save money and go on an epic spending spree
  15. Eat at a Michelin star restaurant
  16. Tidy your whole house go minimalist
  17. “I haven’t been everywhere, but it’s on my list.”- Susan Sontag (Translation: “Eu não estive em todos os lugares, mas está na minha lista”) Round The World (RTW) trip planning:
  • Travel across North America – USA, Canada (Go on a six month RV road trip with my family traveling the USA/Canada when my 3 kids are all over 12 year old.)
  • Vacation in Japan (spend a month)
  • Travel Southeast Asia – Thailand, Singapore, India, Nepal, Sri Lanka, Indonesia, Cambodia to see sun rise from Angkor Wat)
  • Travel in the South Pacific – New Zealand
  • Travel across Europe – Italy, Rome, Venice, Switzerland, England, France, Spain, Hungary, Greece, Serbia, Croatia, Slovenia Germany, Spain, Norway, and Oktoberfest in München
  • Travel throughout Australia – Circling Australia
  • Travel in Central America – Costa Rica
  • Travel in South America – Argentina, Brazil, Bolivia, Colombia, Peru to see Angkor Wat or Machu Picchu
  • Travel in North Africa – Egypt
  • Travel to the Caribbean – Dominican Republic
  • Travel East Europe – Estonia, Russia, Bulgaria
  • Visit an Indian Ashram
  • See the sunrise in the desert
  • Go to the top of the Eiffel Tower
  • Suntan on a white beach with turquoise water
  • Rent an Italian farmhouse
  • See a natural phenomenon like Aurora Boreal northern lights, famous canyons or volcanos
  • Spend a weekend at a spa
  • Stay in a snow hotel
  • NYE in NYC
  • Take a helicopter ride in Hawaii
  • St. Patrick’s Day in Dublin
  • Recreate the road trip around the great lakes I did when I was 16 (including seeing a movie at the Cherry Bowl drive-in)
  • Surf the cliffs of Moher
  • Ride a train from Austin to Mexico City
  • Visit Flores Island, Indonesia when the Lake of Old People is blue, the Lake of Young Men is green, and Maiden’s Lake is red
  • Drive from the 19th hole at the Legends Gold and Safari resort in South Africa
  • Ride in a hot air balloon (ideally in Anatolia in Turkey)
  • Go to the Sasquatch Music Festival
  • Visit the Great Pyramids and the Sphinx
  • See Zhangye Danxia in China
  • Buy a van/bus/station wagon and live/work out of it on the road for a while
  • See Flight of the Conchords live
  • Climb Mount Roraima
  • Literally walk 500 miles to see someone I love
  • Go to Burning Man
  • Swing on the “End of the World” Swing in Baños, Ecuador
  • Ride an elephant, ideally one named “Bubbles” (but I’m not picky)
  • Spelunk the caves of Hang Ken in Vietnam
  • Walk from the Shire to Mordor (the real-life places in NZ those locations were shot in)
  • Walk the Tunnel of Love with a коханець in Klevan, Ukraine
  • Experience zero gravity, ideally in space
  • Swim in the Sea of Stars in the Maldives or a vacation in Bora Bora
  • Visit the Himalayas and a Zen Buddhist monastery in the region
  • Visit Israel and surrounding areas.
  • Visit medieval castles
  • Hike part of the Pacific Crest Trail

Adventure Goals

  1. Motorcycle trip – Achieved (2011 – Switzerland’s Alps)
  2. Kayaking trip – Achieved (New Zealand, 2008)
  3. Mountain Trekking – Achieved (Nepal, 2009)
  4. Sail a small boat – Achieved (USA 2010)
  5. 4WD trip – Achieved (2011, Traveling around Australia)
  6. Sailing trip – Achieved (2011 – Australia, Great Barrier Reef)
  7. Diving trip – Achieved (2011 – Egypt, Australia)
  8. Cross Country Ski trip – Achieved (2014 – Vermont, U.S)
  9. Go paragliding/hand gliding
  10. Bungee jumping or parachuting

Fun Experiences

  1. Take one photo a day for a year: Commit to a 365 project like a photo a day or no shopping
  2. Attend a fashion show
  3. Sleep under the sky

  • Other goals not on my list:

Meet your hero

Climb a mountain

See your favourite band live

Scuba dive the Great Blue Hole (I don’t want to get a Scuba Dive Certification)

Get surgery on my eyeballs so I can see better

Volunteer at a lion orphanage

Swim with dolphins

Get a tattoo

Attend the World Cup

Complete a triathalon.

Bake a wedding cake

Record a demo and send it to record companies

Be an extra in Hollywood (or Bollywood)

Walk on fire 

Adopt a child through the foster system

Perform in a community theatre production

Create recipe cards and meal ideas using staples in our food pantry for our monthly ministry.

Teach local cooking classes.

Raise money for charity

Start a band