Another day, another dollar 💵 💸💰

Hey you,

This weekend we stayed at Sandbanks at Prince Edward Island County. It’s 2 hours drive from Toronto.

My favourite part of this Provincial Park is the tall dunes close to the lakeshore.

It’s fun to run down the dunes and swim away! 🏊🏼‍♀️⬅️🏃🏽‍♀️⬅️🏝

Luckily, the first time I visited Sandbanks was back in August 2016 and we had a great time hiking and swimming!

Unfortunately, the water was too cold this time because we came over too early in the year and we didn’t have a chance to get into the lake.

The dune trails are currently flooded and closed due to Lake Ontario’s high water level. 🌊🏖😵

We left late on Friday because I was working until 6pm. So we hit the road at 7:40pm and we made it to the campground at 9:45 (15 minutes before it closes again!)

We slept under the trees by the sound of the breaking waves of the lake nearby! We woke up with the sun and the birds singing.

Temperature was 8 Celsius at night and 18 during the day. We used a record number of 7 bags of firewood 🔥 for the entire weekend.

My coworkers asked me how much this costs per night, so here it goes:

The campground ⛺️ reservation and the firewood is $75 per night.

Plus one time expense of $400 bucks for all camping gear:

  • 3 pl. Camping tent (to fit bags inside beside the bed)
  • Air bed queen size
  • 2 sleeping bags
  • Cooler
  • Beach chairs and umbrella
  • Stove and gas

Extra costs:

  • Food
  • Fire starters
  • Park store (extra expenses including ice and/or lighter if you run out)

And obviously, a locker for gear storage: 😘

There’s still room for improvements 

Life is a moment. 🐚🦋🐌🌎

Our weekend at Rock Point Provincial Park was amazing!

On the way there we were greeted by 3 or 4 deers close to the roads! They were on the corner right before the park entrance. One of them jumped right in front of our car 🚗 thankfully I was able to break it on time! 🦌🦌🦌☠️ jk

We left late and we were afraid we might not arrive on time again. It turns out we arrived 15 minutes before it closed. So we were able to buy the firewood for the night 😀 This is something we should know better by now! We will improve it next weekend.

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I’m so glad that we brought way less things than last weekend, because now it’s just the 2 of us for a couple of nights. 😀

They also changed our site before hand because the #21 that I booked was too wet this weekend. We ended up with #7, also at the Lookout Campground. The site is very spacious, with 2 picnic tables and a beautiful huge tree that protects the tent. Water tap and washrooms nearby.

We built the tent right in the centre of the campsite ⛺️ and we started the campfire 🔥 right away. I was putting more firewood with my left hand too close to the flames and this happened: (I didn’t get burn, it’s just dirty.)

On Saturday morning we had breakfast with a campfire again 🙂 and this is Eduardo drying out his socks!

In the afternoon we enjoyed a nice warm 18 degrees blue sky sunny day at Lake Erie’s beach ⛱🌊 the name sadu
  we had a huge ice cream of Canadian Maple and Moses Tracks 🍦 😬 our favorite!

Sunday was a beautiful sunny morning with lots of birds singing. I built another campfire to finish the rest of the wood while I was packing up the car and we left around 11am.

I didn’t take as many pictures of this trip because I didn’t charge ANY of the batteries at home. 🏡 😑

On the drive back we saw the 3 deers again. They said bye without  crossing the road in front of us this time 😀

To do list for future trips:

  1. CHARGE ALL CAMERAS! 🎥 📷
  2. Organize camping/cooking stuff and label if possible for easy access.
  3. Pack the car the day before.
  4. Leave on time, to guarantee firewood for the night.
  5. Make sure campsite is not wet.
  6. Get a tool to put firewood in the pit.
  7. Get sticks and marshmallows 🤐

Quarter century old – what’s to be done ✅ 

Hey you,

My 25th birthday has recently passed and I celebrated it over this Victoria Day long weekend in Tobermory (yeah, again!) with Eduardo, Mahi and Asish.

I also celebrated my 7 year anniversary with Eduardo on May 20th!

The camping season this year has officially started and we had an amazing time in the best national park in Ontario: Bruce Peninsula!

We saw this beautiful sunset 🌅  during our 3.5 hour drive from Toronto.

We were driving a bit worried and unsure if we would make it on time. Turns out we arrived at the registration centre 5 minutes before it closed and we didn’t have to look for a place to stay for the night, but people still arrived in the campsite on our right side and they built their tents after we were already in bed. I guess we would have done the same thing, but we don’t like taking any chances.

Friday night was great! We built the tents ⛺️ and we had a nice fire 🔥 over wine and champagne! Even though they have an Alcohol Ban for the long weekend. 🤐

At 4am in the night, we received a visit of a wild animal 🐻 that destroyed our garbage bag with its big claws. I forgot a piece of potato 🥔 in there. 😵 We fell asleep right after that. 😴

Saturday, we enjoyed a beautiful sunny day at the Indian Head cove and the Grotto cave! Unfortunately, our guests had to drive back to Toronto right after we got back to the campground because they had family arriving today from India.

To be honest, after doing my 11K steps by trekking all day under the sun (15 Celsius! 😜) ☀️ we decided to have a lazy rainy day on Sunday. ☔️ We stayed warm in the tent. (Lowest of 5, feels like 3 at night)

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(that’s Eduardo wrapped up) 🌯🍣 more photos of the trip here.

I love campsite #206! We had a good area for both tents, both cars and 2 tables. We were cozy close to the fire 🔥 but me and Dipika got sick that night 😷 she even had a sick day off on Thursday. I kept working because I basically just had a bit of running nose and dry cough.

On Monday we packed up and we left at 10am for a breakfast of champions. 🍳🥓 This was an amazing long weekend!!!

That’s what I want to do for life: travel to new places and hike among nature in good company!

The future is in your hands. Don’t let it go to waste. You will never be as young as you are on this day. Tomorrow you will be older. “Today is the oldest you’ve ever been, and the youngest you’ll ever be.” – Eleanor Roosevelt. That’s another good reason to “seize the day or die regretting the time you lost” as Avenged Sevenfold’s song says.

The main secret of a long and good life is daily exercises and healthy food.

img_7265In a life well lived, every second that passes is a longing. (from Portuguese: “Numa vida bem vivida, cada segundo que passa é uma saudade que fica.”) It means, a life well lived is when you have a good memory of each single second. “Saudade” is the love that remains 😊

These are things that my parents always kept telling me but… you know for fact that PEOPLE ONLY HEAR WHAT THEY WANT TO HEAR and THEY CAN’T TAKE BACK WHAT THEY SAY. It means I will always remember what they kept telling me but I just didn’t want to hear at that time👂🏼 🙃 so this is what I know now as a mature young adult that I wish I knew as teen:

1- This small world is calling us! This is the best time to be alive! We can easily find affordable travel options and unlimited amazing pictures!

2- Enjoy every moment of your day, every meal, every conversation and every sunshine ☀️ because that moment is unique in your life. You will never be that age again and people come and go. So make every year a chapter of your life and fill in the blank!

3- Don’t stress out and use the 90/10 principle. Because you migh have to start over a few times. Specially if you are like most people that end up in a different town/country.

4- Don’t worry about make up 💄👁 👁 I’m so glad I got rid of my eyeliner addiction. I would simply wear it all the time as a teen and I would feel weird if I didn’t put it on.

5- Don’t worry about work out 🏋 most people have good genes and they are fine with regular daily activity until the age of 25! However, I don’t look my age anyways… I easily look 10 years younger 😐 the only difference is that now it takes me some effort to stay in shape.

6- Family is above all and we all know that friends are the family you choose! This future tattoo is in their honor and it’s a symbol of Stability and Loyalty.

Paramore: Hallelujah

Got nothing but time on our hands
This time we’re not giving up
Oh, let’s make it last forever

Asaf Avidan – Reckoning Song (One Day)

One day baby, we’ll be old
Oh baby, we’ll be old
Think of all the stories that we could have told

Avicii – The Days

These are the days we’ve been waiting for
On days like these who could ask for more?
Leave them coming ’cause we’re not done yet
These are the days we won’t regret
These are the days we will never forget!

Avicii – The Nights

Hey, once upon a younger year
When all our shadows disappeared
The animals inside came out to play
Hey, went face to face with all our fears
Learned our lessons through the tears
Made memories we knew would never fade

One day my father—he told me,
“Son, don’t let it slip away.”
He took me in his arms, I heard him say,

“When you get older
Your wild heart will live for younger days
Think of me if ever you’re afraid.”

He said, “One day you’ll leave this world behind
So live a life you will remember.”
My father told me when I was just a child
These are the nights that never die
My father told me

When thunder clouds start pouring down
Light a fire they can’t put out
Carve your name into those shining stars
He said, “Go venture far beyond these shores.
Don’t forsake this life of yours.
I’ll guide you home no matter where you are.”

5×5 – Flawless Challenge

Let’s start the countdown! My “honeymoon” vacation in Mediterranean Europe is coming up in exactly 55 days!

I’ve created this 55 day strength training challenge called: 5️⃣ by 5️⃣ !

My bestie Mahi and I challenged each other to do a set of exercises, eat healthy low carb/sugar and high fiber meals everyday –> NO CHEAT DAYS!!!

We had to do an exception for wine, vodka and whiskey. They are allowed as long we drink in moderation! Of course, it’s so obvious that I did even had to mention it.

We’ve got to do that each single day.

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The daily goal is:

First, start your day with a smoothie

2 spoons of Apple Vinegar Cider (Juice recipe here)

85 minutes (1h25) work out 🏋 

600 active calories 🏃🏽‍♀️

1940 total calories 🤸🏽‍♀️

11,250 steps 🚶🏽‍♀️

7.70 km 🚲

15 active hours (walking for at least a minute)

I really hope to see some great results before my trip 😀 

Peace & Love 

Ps- one day I hope to have a family so beautiful and happy as this:

What’s a True Brazilian-Canadian?

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Bueno… 🇧🇷 + 🇨🇦:

First, a bit of truth for both and for all: H2O! Stay hydrated, specially when the caffeine kicks in! Daily water consumption:
50kg:

  • Active: 2267ml
  • Regular: 2015ml
  • Sedentary: 1679ml

70kg:

  • Active: 3174ml
  • Regular: 2821ml
  • Sedentary: 2351ml

“Water” was the first word I’ve learned to talk! Of course, I was a baby and I would say “ah-gah” (from the Portuguese word “água”). J’aime l’eau!!! 💧💦

I drink it all day as long I have a water bottle beside me. Whenever I eat a small piece of something sweet 🍫🍩🍪 I have to take plenty of water to flush it out of my system. That’s why I’m not a big chocolate fan. It’s a good thing because I will never be a sugar addict and I don’t have to worry too much about weight gain either.

I love those detox water recipes. They are so tasty and easy to make! My favourite is with cucumber, ginger and oranges (or replace it with lime/lemon).🍋🍊🥒  That will help to keep your skin smooth too! I never had problems with dry skin until I moved to Canada. Here makes sense to use body cream because the air in São Paulo, Brazil is always so humid that I rarely had to put moisturizer on.

 

Second, stay active! I’m very active at work. My goal is to walk at least 10,000 steps/day. I also bike 5km/day as my work commute all year round. I’ve been biking under freezing rain and snow during every winter time for the past 5 years. 🚴🏻‍♀️🏃🏼‍♀️

I can say I’m a True Brazilian-Canadian because most Torontonians also don’t mind biking around the city in the winter snow and summer rain.

I know that’s not considered an ideal situation to bike, but I still do it because it’s FASTER! I don’t want to wake up earlier to put a heavy jacket on to wait for the streetcar/bus for 10 minutes standing still outside. I prefer to be in control of my time and get to work in 10 minutes by bike.

My secret: know how to dress up for the cold, layer up and you are good to go!

I almost fell once due to black ice on the roads and it was a fun adventure to get home. I only say it was “fun” because I didn’t hurt myself badly that day. The bike flew right under me, I landed on my left knee but I just ended up with a bruise.

(More pics of the cherry blossoms🌸 here)

The third reason why I’m a True Brazilian-Canadian is because I’m going camping all summer for 15 weekends in a row! ⛺️⛱⛰That’s such a traditional Canadian vacation and I’ve only camped a couple of times in the last 7 years living here. I’m going to the best national and provincial parks in Ontario. I’m taking advantage of the Free 2017 Discovery Pass, get yours now!

My first time camping in Canada was in 2015. It was close to Tobermory, ON and it was an amazing experience! I just felt bad for the ridiculous number of spiders we killed when we took our tent down. I also woke up and saw a huge skinny legged spider inside the tent, on the ceiling, right on top of our heads!

I’m this desperate to enjoy the outdoors because I know a long winter is coming. ❄️ Don’t take me wrong, I enjoy the beauty of each season. 🍁 My favourite is spring 🌸 because it brings me hope of better days☀️ plus it’s my birthday, so the year really starts in May for me 😀🍾🎉

Therefore, I want to start the year in contact with nature! My tent 🏕🏖🛶 is my natural habitat and my second home for the summer! This will be a big adventure for me and my husband! I will keep you posted!

Eduardo is from Santos, Brazil (beach town) so he went camping every year with the Scouts and he also camped with the Cadets when he moved to Canada. To be honest, I just camped a couple of times in Brazil. The best time was at my High School graduation trip to Paraty, Brazil in July 2009. Before that I only camped a few times near my house by the woods. The problem is nowadays I wouldn’t go camping in Brazil anymore. I got spoiled during these past 7 years 🇨🇦 Thanks Canada for all this beauty, security, and opportunities!!! ♥️

Mother’s day is coming up in a week and I’ve got some great news!! I’m sponsoring my lovely mom to move here 🇨🇦! Our plan is to have fun cooking a bit of our most famous Brazilian 🇧🇷 dishes in Toronto. She can’t wait to spoil her future grandkids in the next 5 years! My two brothers are coming in the next 2 years and I so happy 😊 to finally be able to bring my family close to me!! 💜💙💚💛💖

It was so hard for me to immigrate that I can’t imagine how much harder it is nowadays. My younger brother might just come to visit because he is in Law school in Brazil. My older brother is just waiting for his fiancée to graduate 👩🏼‍🎓 university next year or so. ❤️

I’m sure they will easily adapt and become True Brazilian-Canadians as well. Unfortunately, the only time I’m not a True Brazilian-Canadian is when it comes to sports and dance. I personally don’t enjoy much of these activities, so I’m not a real Canadian nor a true Brazilian in this case. I’m also cutting down my meat, coffee, beer and sugar consumption, which are also Canadian’s and Brazilian’s top faves!

It’s all good man! – Btw, it sounds like:

“It’s Saul Goodman” – from Breaking Bad and Better Call Saul

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Tiny F1b Bernedoodle

My husband sent me this video above at the same time I was petting the cutest dog on earth!! 🌏🐾🐶


I would love to have my house full of these puppies!! So I will start with one for now 😝 I will adopt more once I move to a farm in Niagara, Ontario.

 

Halton Hills Bernedoodles 1h14 from Toronto

  • Louise
  • 15 – 20 pounds $4000 + HST
  • Black tri collored pups

 

Willow Brooke Bernedoodles 1h47 from Toronto

  • $4000 all sizes
  • Phone: 519.580.5865

 

 

Mohr-Over Kennels 4h30 from Toronto

  • Wayne & Sheila Overton
  • 30 – 50 pounds $2500
  • Chocolate Merle’s pups
  • 15021 Highway 17
    Haley Station, Ontario
    K0J 1Y0
  • 613-432-3989
  • westerncreekranch63@live.ca

 

Bernedoodle Shtire

  • steff@doodlepups.ca
  • $2500-$3500

 

How I Met My Doodle

“Some people never go crazy. What truly horrible lives they must lead.” Charles Bukowski

Paulo Coelho“Don’t waste your time with explanations: people only hear what they want to hear.”

Recipe for hypo-mania: First, you have to be biologically prone to have one. Second, exhaust your mind by: walking under the sun all day, not sleeping for at least a week, drinking alcohol constantly, and non-stop talking about God, war, and love!

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I’ve got lost in the trip down to memory lane to find myself!

My name is Thaís. It’s pronounced “Ty-ees” and it’s from the ancient Greek name “Thaïs” meaning: Beloved. I’ve ALWAYS lived with passion and for passion. It’s part of my name so is my entire sense of self! I love to listen to music. From indie/alternative to progressive rock/metal. I fully relate to many of the lyrics like Pink Floyd – “Brain Damage” song: “And if the band you’re in starts playing a different tune, I’ll see you on the dark side of the moon.”

I’ve always leaned towards the depressed side because this desire for passion is not always met, so I get lost and frustrated in life. I also often found myself thinking about my past with a lingering sense of failure—the hangover of my time spent living a lie. I’ve finally noticed that fooling myself can have devastating consequences, especially when it comes to school, career, sex life and relationships in general.

I’m pretending to be something that I’m not. I’m tried to transform myself into the person everyone expects me to be. I’m fighting my way to an authentic life. I’m tired to live a lie and I have to stop to live in a way that is dishonest to myself or to other
people. Many people find it difficult to be intimate with anyone when they are not really sure who they are. When you feel like life is fake, it’s pretty hard to be close to somebody. It feels exactly like Foo Fighters – “The Pretender” song: “Keep you in the dark, you know they all pretend.”

I’ve also got a lot of anxiety so I need a very controlled and predictable environment. I always want to receive whatever I’m waiting for as quickly as possible. “Carpe Diem” sounds so good but I know I’m not intensely connected to the present moment. I’m mostly reliving the past or dreaming about the future. “Seize the day” and “live like there’s no tomorrow” makes me anxious because they are just a reminder that tomorrow exists. I have to learn to coexist in this world as if there isn’t cover and inside. Life is made up of pairs of opposites; we need movement and rest. The real challenge is to find the middle way: balance.

VictorIn Portuguese: “Quando a situação for boa, desfrute-a. Quando a situação for ruim, transforme-a. Quando asituação não puder ser transformada, transforme-se.” Viktor Frankl.

Social media helps me not to miss anything that happens in the world outside! I also want to show that I have a “perfect” lifestyle and that I’m doing something, no matter how empty and meaningless that “something” is. For someone my age, perfection is to be someone nice, sociable, who spends 3 hours per day in the gym, works eight hours, does MBA, goes clubbing, and still finds time to watch the most popular series and movies. And to me, a real life is allowing me to moments of silence and solitude in my own company, away from the world.

I recently started to ask myself: What about the ‘world’ from within? When was the last time I stopped to look after myself? Have I ever closed the door to only hear my own voice? Then I realized I know all about what’s happening around me, but nothing of what goes on inside my mind and heart. That’s how I’ve finally noticed that this hurt soul of mine deserves my full attention in order to enjoy life to it’s fullest. I’m usually very apart from others and, recently, I was able to spend a lot of time with myself. I enjoy having my space and I’ve always had an original personality. We all should dedicate some time to our only true partner for life: ourselves.

 

 

img_5952-3Now, I’m trying to be more like Kurt Cobain: “I’d rather be hated for who I am, than loved for who I am not.” You don’t need luck when you don’t give a fuck.

It’s better to be alone than to be with someone who messes you up and doesn’t help you to fix it…

(in Portuguese: Melhor sozinha do que com quem the bagunça e não ajuda a arrumar…)

 

Ayreon – Day Seven: Hope

[Best Friend] Let me take you back
to the time when we were chasing all the girls
Two maniacs
indulging in the pleasures of this world
So much to see, so much to live for
Questions to answer, places to go
So much to be, so much to care for
Deep down inside, I think you know you are free
Come back to me!

Look ahead and see
There are still so many borders we could cross
Just you and me
making up for all the time that we have lost
[Best Friend] So much to see [Me] He may be right
[Best Friend] so much to live for [Me] I’ve got to fight
[Best Friend] Questions to answer [Me] I will pull through
[Best Friend] places to go [Me] Take me with you
[Best Friend] So much to be [Me] I will not break
[Best Friend] so much to care for [Me] I must awake
[Best Friend] Deep down inside I think you know [Me] I think I know
[Best Friend] You are free [Me] I am free
[Best Friend] Come back to me!

[Best Friend] Aaaah, aaaah – Come back to me
[Me] There’s no way out, my whole world is black!
[Best Friend] Aaaah, aaaah – Come back to me
[Me] I try to shout, something’s holding me back!”

 

My husband and I literally drove each other crazy in July 2016 during our first vacation in Europe together. I was hypo-manic for a while and my husband had a similar episode, but more severe than me.

When I come back from vacations in general, it’s if I’ve never really left home because everything else stays the same. But during this last vacation, I did some serious soul searching and it became an unique life experience for both of us. Well, it was really an eye opening trip for sure! Every summer has a story and at least, I can say, I’ve had a short time of happiness in life, rather than no time at all. I’ve realized I have to beimg_6595-3 thankful for such short times because, somehow, they manage to keep me sane and get me through life.

Believe it or not, but this episode we had in Europe is among the best things that have ever happened to us, because it has given us the challenge to heal and grow. It was the most interesting thing to see the Old World with a different perspective. We felt like everything made sense and we were so thankful for all that. To the point we thought we had a mission from God to solve all problems by carrying  the world on our backs. But it was too heavy to handle and our minds broke down in pieces. The funny part is that we are truly grateful for having had these experiences, even though they were absolutely awful in general. They have made us closer to each other and a bigger, more empathetic, stronger and beautiful couple.

“If it’s going to happen, it will happen, but why should I miss the dance? The time is short.”img_5984-3

Don’t ever question yourself “why?”, just turn the word “regret” into “I made the best possible choice I could at that time”. I’ve learned to take responsibility for my life and to follow my dreams. I was in conflict with myself and conflict is essential for evolution/growth. “When you blame others, you give up your power to change.” so never forget: “Freedom is the will to be responsible to ourselves” – Friedrich Nietzsche

I need to free myself because right now I’m a prisoner of my past! How do I get out of it? “How can you tell a passionate heart to be still and to contemplate the miracles of Creation in silence, free of tension, fear, and unanswerable questions?” (Paulo Coelho) I’m stuck but I may have just found a way and, of course, I’ll know if it really works later on in life.

IMG_5501I’m clearly having a quarter life crisis since I’ve finally realized a very obvious thing: we have one life in this planet! It doesn’t make sense to me to not pursue what we really want. I’m now working to get everything together and on track. Unfortunately, I’ve realized that I have a life that I’m not super passionate about and happy with. I’m in an environment that doesn’t support/serve/love me so I shouldn’t have to keep living like this. I’m finally taking initiative and action towards what I really want in life and moving towards what I want to achieve/cultivate/create/happen in order to feel accomplished and fulfilled in life. It’s time to start right now!

I wasn’t stable at all and I had no idea that I also had mental health issues until my co-workers and in-laws brought to my attention after our vacation in Europe. I took a few months off work to recover. I was feeling like a ghost wondering on Earth and not being totally sure of my true identity. I was a spectator of my life by just listening instead of imposing on reality. I now realize that I am an active manifestor and I’m the one who creates my own reality and it’s about time for me to take action!

I am studying my life in detail and reliving each moment that I suffered, sweated, and smiled beneath the sun. Since I moved to Canada, I’ve been taking “Netflix and chill” literally for many years now and here I only work, sleep and repeat. Noting new, nothing fun. My social life is near to zero comparing to the one I had back in Brazil during my teenage years. I feel so lonely here, but before I start, let me brag for a moment: I’ve never had spending impulses like my mother who ended up declaring bankruptcy in my childhood. After growing up with things like that, I made sure I would never be in debt in my life. I’m respected by my colleagues and customers. I have a husband that loves me with all his heart and we have a very comfortable lifestyle in a first world country. Our 5 year goal is to start raising our 3 beautiful children. “Someday, all the love you’ve given away, will find its way back to you and stay.” All I want is a man that is down for me and only me, and I think I may have found him. He has always been by my side since the day I was born. His name is Eduardo, my beloved husband. For the past 7 years my husband is the only thing that really matter in my life. I opened up my true self to him and he loves me for who I really am. I need him in my life to keep going and feel loved.IMG_5392

Lucky me to have you in my life.

I found my other half and I lost my entire self.

During our Europe vacation we both realized that we shared the exact same feeling: “I loved someone else more than myself.” That was the beginning of our hypo-mania and I was the first one to have grandiosity thoughts and become religious. This whole experience turned two Agnostics into full Roman Catholics: “We are all living in the gutter, but some of us are looking at the stars.”(Oscar Wilde)

We were both battling depression for years and he was way more depressed and more manic than me. I only noticed that he got really sick when it hit me that I couldn’t helpIMG_5350 him by myself with ineffective over the counter sleeping pills. I felt guilty… he was the reason I was still breathing and now his brilliant mind was gone because of me. On the way to the Emergency Hospital nearby, he texted his parents that I drove him crazy and it kills me just to think that I could have been responsible for that. It was when I realized how much I’ve hurt him with all my sick mind/emotional games over these 7 years together. He is just as insecure as I am. Most of the silly fights we have are just because we were afraid of losing the other. I lost my whole sense of self since his first night in the man’s ward in Prague. A week later we went back to Toronto and his family all turned their back at me because I was clubbing every night in Prague and they felt that I didn’t care enough for Eduardo.

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I definitely feel like an outsider around his family. Eduardo is my safe port whenever I’m at their house. Eduardo is afraid of confronting his parents and end up with a bad relationship with them. Just recently, I’ve realized that this is Eduardo’s problem and not mine. So I’m simply giving them space to figure this one out and in the meanwhile I will be distancing myself from his family.

I’m doing some serious self-discovery during my mental health treatment. Eduardo and I are still between depression and hypo-mania. I know I have a clear conscious that I did the best I could. Even though his parents said they will never forgive me for what I’ve done in Prague and how I’ve treated their son. They blame me for his sickness, but Eduardo is responsible for his actions. I was devastated in Prague and I needed to feel alive again, so I went clubbing and sleeping until noon. I guess they forgot that I visited Eduardo every afternoon. I still enjoyed my hard earned vacation at some point at night.

I was back at work (and boring day-to-day life) since our first day back in Toronto and I worked until my managers suggested I take a sick short-term leave after exact a month.

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I didn’t feel respected by his family and they made sure to remind me that I did’t have any saying inside their house and that I lost all their respect/credits. Fine, it’s good to know! I don’t get it how people can be this complete insensible with another human being feelings! So there’s no point of me spending even one more word/tear/energy towards this. I realized how “needy” I was when all I wanted was them to stop being so rude to me and maybe even love me. I feel just like The Offspring clearly said on Self-Esteem song: “The more you suffer, the more it shows you really care.”

“Don’t waste your time where there isn’t any space for you.” – Mathew Jacobs

I’m sorry I can’t please you. Fake sympathy is not my strong suite.

There’s nothing for me here.

I see all this as another challenge in my life to learn more about self-love. I’m determined to finally learn more about my personality and who I am.

My only hope now is to keep looking for one of those once in a lifetime moments. Yeah, and my life is full of those.

Take a ticket, take a ride. Hold on tight. Take the ride of your life. Against the current.

So far, so good. Everything is perfect.

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Time to drop some truths: Quarter-Life Crisis/Searching For Self Love

“I have a story to tell, I think we all do, and we have to find our own way to tell it. That’s our reason, to live our individual lives, in whatever roles we play, and sharing your story, your point of view, is your reason to live. So someone else might benefit from it. Your reason to live is to live, really, you have a life and the only thing to do with it is live it. I don’t think there has to be a purpose.” –Dot525

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This is me: I’m here as a Travel/Lifestyle Photographer/Writer (as a hobby, for now):

It’s been almost a year that I’ve started this self discovery journey to know more about my self in order to figure out what to do with my life.

I’ve been searching my past and my soul. I’m working on my book called “In My Life” and each year is a chapter. Recently, I’ve been reading and thinking more about my life purpose/meaning.

“Was the person happy while he/she lived?” That is a proper question, the only question. Happiness is the meaning of my life. I want to be happy and I’m tired of sorrow. So the real question that I should be asking myself is: “What makes me happy?”

I’m a Taurus, so I’ve always called myself “May Queen” and now I’m looking for my own kingdom! I really enjoy being alone and writing all these crazy thoughts down. I also enjoy photography while listening to music and travelling to exotic places. That’s my passion and that’s the meaning of my life: I’m here to experience new things and see this beautiful world that we are part of. I like to register every special moment by taking pictures and writing about them, so hopefully others will be inspired to explore it as well.

I have a very bad memory and I really like the fact that I can simply look at my collection of artwork in order to immediately go back in time and “relive” those unique moments. Be them good or bad, because life still beats the alternative.

We should all look at the big picture and see the great things life has to offer: nature, human connections, animals, love, passion and happiness… I think just listening to the wind blows is worth to have live.

I also feel that the relationship with my husband constitute the very meaning of my life, because our goal as a family is to create and nurture new life for this beautiful earth. Our love is what I live for. He is my best friend that knows me well and loves me back for exactly who I am! “Friends are the family you choose (~ Nin/Ithilnin, Elven rogue).”
― Jess C. ScottThe Other Side of Life

Charles Bukowski quotes:

I am my own god. We are here to unlearn the teachings of the church, state, and our educational system. We are here to drink beer. We are here to kill war. We are here to laugh at the odds and live our lives so well that Death will tremble to take us.”

“I’ve never been lonely. I’ve been in a room — I’ve felt suicidal. I’ve been depressed. I’ve felt awful — awful beyond all — but I never felt that one other person could enter that room and cure what was bothering me…or that any number of people could enter that room. In other words, loneliness is something I’ve never been bothered with because I’ve always had this terrible itch for solitude. It’s being at a party, or at a stadium full of people cheering for something, that I might feel loneliness. I’ll quote Ibsen, “The strongest men are the most alone.” I’ve never thought, “Well, some beautiful blonde will come in here and give me a fuck-job, rub my balls, and I’ll feel good.” No, that won’t help. You know the typical crowd, “Wow, it’s Friday night, what are you going to do? Just sit there?” Well, yeah. Because there’s nothing out there. It’s stupidity. Stupid people mingling with stupid people. Let them stupidify themselves. I’ve never been bothered with the need to rush out into the night. I hid in bars, because I didn’t want to hide in factories. That’s all. Sorry for all the millions, but I’ve never been lonely. I like myself. I’m the best form of entertainment I have. Let’s drink more wine!”

“My ambition is handicapped by laziness”

“You have to die a few times before you can really live.”

“If you’re losing your soul and you know it, then you’ve still got a soul left to lose.”

“Sometimes you climb out of bed in the morning and you think, I’m not going to make it, but you laugh inside — remembering all the times you’ve felt that way.”

“Some lose all mind and become soul, insane.
some lose all soul and become mind, intellectual.
some lose both and become accepted

As you can see, I desperately need help. We are now 25 years old and we are both going through a Quarter Life Crisis. All I want to do is travel but I am currently working 9-5 job that pays the bills. My plan is to keep working at this place until my Canadian passport arrives, so I can finally start my Sabbatical and follow my dream!

Once I come back from this adventure, I want to choose a city where I plan to raise my 3 kids (hopefully 2 boys 1 girl, we’ll see). I might come back to Toronto because all my husband’s family moved here and my mom wants to immigrate to Canada next year!

Unfortunately, right now, I feel trapped in a meaningless void until this passport arrives in a few years, so I have to learn how to live my day-to-day life by being responsible and getting work done when all I want to do is lay down on the beach all day! I’m 99.7% sure a road trip would fix everything =)

Shocking Statistics About Real Millennial Problems:We’re all struggling, yet we’re all struggling to make it appear like we’re not struggling!” That’s so true!!! People have no idea of what it feels like to be lost and I definitely try to hide those feelings from them.

Even though I’m married, working full-time, with a college diploma, living in a first world country, in a comfortable condo there’s still a deep void inside, a feeling of emptiness that nothing seems to fill.

I feel everything is debilitating and it takes a lot of effort to get things done. It’s end of April and I haven’t even started to think about doing my taxes yet! O_O’ Same thing happens when I’m buying groceries, doing dishes, cooking dinner, going to work, calling my family back, calling my friends back or picking up the phone at all. I look at animals and I think: “God, I wish I had your life.” Am I ever going to feel like myself again? 

I keep asking myself every morning “How can I be kind to myself today?” and I thank myself in the evening for having been there for me.

Try it out yourself and do it day by day. Over time I’ve notice how my care and my self love has started filling this inner void. The tricky part is: How are you supposed to do anything when you have lost your very reason to live? Don’t let people think you are dead…prove them wrong!

Start by letting some fresh air in your home. Go outside for a run. Start yoga daily. Read some good books. Volunteer at Humane Society or any retirement home. If you have no idea what you’re doing in your life, just pick something that you know can’t be bad and just run with it. Sometimes the best answers come when we stop sitting around obsessing over finding them.

You just need to experience life to its fullest in the here-and-now! So remember, the answer is: live in the needs of the day. Hint: meditation really helps!

I wish you all good health and the best of everything else!! Carpe Diem \o/

How’s YOUR book going?

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Mark Twain“Every person is a book, each year a chapter.”

Mark Twain

Paulo Coelho“It’s the possibility of having a dream come true that makes life interesting.”

There is not one big cosmic meaning for all; there is only the meaning we each give to our life, an individual meaning, an individual plot, like an individual novel, a book for each person.
 Albert Camus
You will never be happy if you continue to search for what happiness consists of. You will never live if you are looking for the meaning of life.
― Albert Camus
  • What is the meaning of life?
  • What’s it all about?
  • Who are we?
  • Why are we here?
  • What are we here for?
  • What is the origin of life?
  • What is the nature of life?
  • What is the nature of reality?
  • What is the purpose of life?
  • What is the purpose of one’s life?
  • What is the significance of life?
  • What is meaningful and valuable in life?
  • What is the value of life?
  • What are we living for?
  • What is the reason to live?

Quotes About Meaning Of Life:

“In the beginning, God created the earth, and he looked upon it in His cosmic loneliness.

And God said, “Let Us make living creatures out of mud, so the mud can see what We have done.” And God created every living creature that now moveth, and one was man. Mud as man alone could speak. God leaned close to mud as man sat up, looked around, and spoke. Man blinked. “What is the purpose of all this?” he asked politely.

“Everything must have a purpose?” asked God.

“Certainly,” said man.

“Then I leave it to you to think of one for all this,” said God.
And He went away.”
― Kurt VonnegutCat’s Cradle

“The best things in life make you sweaty.”

Edgar Allan Poe

“Do you know a cure for me?”

“Why yes,” he said, “I know a cure for everything. Salt water.”

“Salt water?” I asked him.

“Yes,” he said, “in one way or the other. Sweat, or tears, or the salt sea.
― Karen BlixenSeven Gothic Tales

“I have learned that you can go anywhere you want to go and do anything you want to do and buy all the things that you want to buy and meet all the people that you want to meet and learn all the things that you desire to learn and if you do all these things but are not madly in love: you have still not begun to live.
― C. JoyBell C.

“It does not matter how long you are spending on the earth, how much money you have gathered or how much attention you have received. It is the amount of positive vibration you have radiated in life that matters,”
― Amit RayMeditation: Insights and Inspirations

Life is problems. Living is solving problems.
― Raymond E. FeistSilverthorn

“Life has no meaning. Each of us has meaning and we bring it to life. It is a waste to be asking the question when you are the answer.”
― Joseph Campbell

“Prime numbers are what is left when you have taken all the patterns away. I think prime numbers are like life. They are very logical but you could never work out the rules, even if you spent all your time thinking about them.”
― Mark HaddonThe Curious Incident of the Dog in the Night-Time

“The human race is a monotonous affair. Most people spend the greatest part of their time working in order to live, and what little freedom remains so fills them with fear that they seek out any and every means to be rid of it.”
― Johann Wolfgang von GoetheThe Sorrows of Young Werther

“About once or twice every month I engage in public debates with those whose pressing need it is to woo and to win the approval of supernatural beings. Very often, when I give my view that there is no supernatural dimension, and certainly not one that is only or especially available to the faithful, and that the natural world is wonderful enough—and even miraculous enough if you insist—I attract pitying looks and anxious questions. How, in that case, I am asked, do I find meaning and purpose in life? How does a mere and gross materialist, with no expectation of a life to come, decide what, if anything, is worth caring about?

Depending on my mood, I sometimes but not always refrain from pointing out what a breathtakingly insulting and patronizing question this is. (It is on a par with the equally subtle inquiry: Since you don’t believe in our god, what stops you from stealing and lying and raping and killing to your heart’s content?) Just as the answer to the latter question is: self-respect and the desire for the respect of others—while in the meantime it is precisely those who think they have divine permission who are truly capable of any atrocity—so the answer to the first question falls into two parts. A life that partakes even a little of friendship, love, irony, humor, parenthood, literature, and music, and the chance to take part in battles for the liberation of others cannot be called ‘meaningless’ except if the person living it is also an existentialist and elects to call it so. It could be that all existence is a pointless joke, but it is not in fact possible to live one’s everyday life as if this were so. Whereas if one sought to define meaninglessness and futility, the idea that a human life should be expended in the guilty, fearful, self-obsessed propitiation of supernatural nonentities… but there, there. Enough.”
― Christopher HitchensHitch-22: A Memoir

“Because children grow up, we think a child’s purpose is to grow up. But a child’s purpose is to be a child. Nature doesn’t disdain what lives only for a day. It pours the whole of itself into the each moment. We don’t value the lily less for not being made of flint and built to last. Life’s bounty is in its flow, later is too late. Where is the song when it’s been sung? The dance when it’s been danced? It’s only we humans who want to own the future, too. We persuade ourselves that the universe is modestly employed in unfolding our destination. We note the haphazard chaos of history by the day, by the hour, but there is something wrong with the picture. Where is the unity, the meaning, of nature’s highest creation? Surely those millions of little streams of accident and wilfulness have their correction in the vast underground river which, without a doubt, is carrying us to the place where we’re expected! But there is no such place, that’s why it’s called utopia. The death of a child has no more meaning than the death of armies, of nations. Was the child happy while he lived? That is a proper question, the only question. If we can’t arrange our own happiness, it’s a conceit beyond vulgarity to arrange the happiness of those who come after us.”
― Tom StoppardThe Coast of Utopia

Wiki:

The four components are purpose, understanding, responsibility, and enjoyment (PURE):

  • You need to choose a worthy purpose or a significant life goal.
  • You need to have sufficient understanding of who you are, what life demands of you, and how you can play a significant role in life.
  • You and you alone are responsible for deciding what kind of life you want to live, and what constitutes a significant and worthwhile life goal.
  • You will enjoy a deep sense of significance and satisfaction only when you have exercised your responsibility for self-determination and actively pursue a worthy life goal.

Although most psychology researchers consider meaning in life as a subjective feeling or judgment, most philosophers (e.g., Thaddeus Metz, Daniel Haybron) propose that there are also objective, concrete criteria for what constitutes meaning in life. Wong has proposed that whether life is meaningful depends not only on subjective feelings but, more importantly, on whether a person’s goal striving and life as a whole is meaningful according to some objective normative standard.

The mystery of life and its true meaning is an often recurring subject in popular culture:

How many roads must a man walk down, before you can call him a man” from Bob Dylan‘s “Blowin’ in the Wind.”

“Well, it’s nothing very special. Uh, try to be nice to people, avoid eating fat, read a good book every now and then, get some walking in, and try to live together in peace and harmony with people of all creeds and nations.” – Monty Python

“What is the meaning of life?” is a question many people ask themselves at some point during their lives, most in the context “What is the purpose of life?”.[10] Some popular answers include:

To realize one’s potential and ideals

  • To chase dreams.
  • To live one’s dreams.
  • To spend it for something that will outlast it.
  • To matter: to count, to stand for something, to have made some difference that you lived at all.
  • To expand one’s potential in life.
  • To become the person you’ve always wanted to be.
  • To become the best version of yourself.
  • To seek happiness and flourish.
  • To be a true authentic human being.
  • To be able to put the whole of oneself into one’s feelings, one’s work, one’s beliefs.
  • To follow or submit to our destiny.
  • To achieve eudaimonia, a flourishing of human spirit.

To achieve biological perfection

  • To survive,that is, to live as long as possible, including pursuit of immortality (through scientific means).
  • To live foreveror die trying.
  • To adapt. Often to improve one’s chances of success in another purpose; sometimes, as a purpose in itself (adapting to adapt).
  • To evolve.
  • To replicate, to reproduce.”The ‘dream’ of every cell is to become two cells.”

To seek wisdom and knowledge

  • To expand one’s perception of the world.
  • To follow the clues and walk out the exit.
  • To learn as many things as possible in life.
  • To know as much as possible about as many things as possible.
  • To seek wisdom and knowledge and to tame the mind, as to avoid suffering caused by ignorance and find happiness.
  • To face our fears and accept the lessons life offers us.
  • To find the meaning or purpose of life.
  • To find a reason to live.
  • To resolve the imbalance of the mind by understanding the nature of reality.

To do good, to do the right thing

  • To leave the world as a better place than you found it.
  • To do your best to leave every situation better than you found it.
  • To benefit others.
  • To give more than you take.
  • To end suffering.
  • To create equality.
  • To challenge oppression.
  • To distribute wealth.
  • To be generous.
  • To contribute to the well-being and spirit of others.
  • To help others, to help one another.
  • To take every chance to help another while on your journey here.
  • To be creative and innovative.
  • To forgive.
  • To accept and forgive human flaws.
  • To be emotionally sincere.
  • To be responsible.
  • To be honorable.
  • To seek peace.

Meanings relating to religion

  • [He] [God] who created death and life to test you [as to] who is best in deed and He is Exalted in Might, the Forgiving. (Quran 67:2)
  • To worship God and enter heaven in afterlife.
  • To reach the highest heaven and be at the heart of the Divine.
  • To have a pure soul and experience God.
  • To understand the mystery of God.
  • To know or attain union with God.
  • To know oneself, know others, and know the will of heaven.
  • To love something bigger, greater, and beyond ourselves, something we did not create or have the power to create, something intangible and made holy by our very belief in it.
  • To love God and all of his creations.
  • To glorify God by enjoying him forever.
  • To spread your religion and share it with others. (Matthew 28:18-20)
  • To act justly, love mercy, and walk humbly with your God.
  • To be fruitful and multiply. (Genesis 1:28)
  • To obtain freedom. (Romans 8:20-21)
  • To fill the Earth and subdue it. (Genesis 1:28)
  • To serve humankind, to prepare to meet and become more like God, to choose good over evil, and have joy.

To love, to feel, to enjoy the act of living

  • To love more.
  • To love those who mean the most. Every life you touch will touch you back.
  • To treasure every enjoyable sensation one has.
  • To seek beauty in all its forms.
  • To have fun or enjoy life.
  • To seek pleasure and avoid pain.
  • To be compassionate.
  • To be moved by the tears and pain of others, and try to help them out of love and compassion.
  • To love others as best we possibly can.
  • To eat, drink, and be merry.
  • To have power, to be better
  • To strive for power and superiority.
  • To rule the world.
  • To know and master the world.
  • To know and master nature.

Life has no meaning

  • Life or human existence has no real meaning or purpose because human existence occurred out of a random chance in nature, and anything that exists by chance has no intended purpose.
  • Life has no meaning, but as humans we try to associate a meaning or purpose so we can justify our existence.
  • There is no point in life, and that is exactly what makes it so special.

One should not seek to know and understand the meaning of life

  • The answer to the meaning of life is too profound to be known and understood.
  • You will never live if you are looking for the meaning of life.
  • The meaning of life is to forget about the search for the meaning of life.
  • Ultimately, a person should not ask what the meaning of their life is, but rather must recognize that it is they themselves who are asked. In a word, each person is questioned by life; and they can only answer to life by answering for their own life; to life they can only respond by being responsible.

Life is bad

  • Better never to have been. People will always experience pain (harm) which outweighs any pleasure. Not coming into existence means people will not experience pain, nor will they be disadvantaged by not experiencing pleasure as they do not exist. This is described as the asymmetry of pleasure and pain.